A Different Kind of Grief
During the grieving process, God applies Holy Spirit salve and it prepares us to limp with others through their own grief.
As I drove to meet a friend/business colleague this week for coffee, I observed the aftermath of a storm from the previous night. Tree limbs were strewn about the city and the streets were still damp, but the temperature was mild, which is rare for this time of year.
You’ve heard of the calm before the storm? This was the calm after the storm.
Tuesday of this week was the first anniversary of Shawn’s death – a lifelong friend (I recorded a raw, emotional video about that if you’re interested). It was a dark day, filled with emotion. But as I drove through the city Wednesday morning, I felt differently.
All the “firsts” were behind me – the first Christmas without Shawn, his first birthday without him and the first anniversary of his death.
I’ve been thinking about 1 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV) this week: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
I’ve been in need of God’s comfort for the last year. And it’s come in so many ways – through friends who have listened to and prayed for me, long forgotten memories that occurred at just the right time, listening to the music Shawn enjoyed and meeting with his sister and daughter periodically.
As I drove through the city Wednesday morning after the storm this week, I didn’t sense God saying anything specific. I just sat in his presence as I drove. I can’t describe the feeling I had any better than to say it felt like an internal switch had been flipped. And now it feels like the initial grieving period is coming to an end.
Now that all the firsts have passed, the seconds will come with a familiarity that wasn’t there previously. I think this is one of the ways God works through natural means. His mercies are new every morning. In this case, his mercy also feels new at the start of year two.
Billy Graham once said something about sorrow that sticks with me: “Sometimes our way lies in the sunlight. Other times it lies in the path of sorrow. Yet even sorrows turn to blessings when they make us less attached to the world and more attached to God. Then more than ever we discover that Jesus truly is our friend.”
In a deep sense, I’ll always grieve this loss, but I sense it will be a different kind of grief. And maybe that’s what the apostle Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 1.
At some point, God applies the Holy Spirit salve to our broken hearts and it prepares us to limp with others through their own grief. I’ll keep my eyes out so I can be part of the healing process in the way others have been for me.
If you aren’t grieving a loss right now, you will in the future. When you do, give yourself permission to feel your loss, lean into God and his provision and let him take you through the process. There’s no magic timetable. But God is faithful, and he knows how you feel. He experienced his own great loss when his son was nailed to a Roman cross.
July Spotlight
Our first loves, first experiences, and first favorites are sacred grounds.
They shape us in ways our second loves, second experiences, and second favorites do not, and cannot. We go into firsts with our eyes shut, without any reservation, because we don’t know any better, and our firsts become the measuring stick for every love, experience, and favorite afterward—when our eyes are fully open and we are more cautious.
If you enjoyed Common Grounds: Contemplations, Confessions, and (Unexpected) Connections from the Coffee Shop, then you’ll love this second dose of introspection that will take you back to a simpler time in your life.
Also, during July, all of my e-books are 25 percent off at Smashwords (click the banner below for the list):
Here are some tidbits you might find interesting this week:
You must read this article: Following too closely: And other habits that could cost you your life by Laura Kelly Fanucci.
"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." - Augustine
21 Things to Do in the Morning Before Checking Your Phone. (Some of them are kind of cheesy, but I’m all about cheesy.)
How Quickly Should You Answer Emails? (Note: I’m far slower than this writer advocates for, but he makes some good points.)
When Lee isn’t writing essays, devotional books, or Christian fiction, he is a freelance editor, as well as a freelance journalist who has written hundreds of articles for various newspapers and magazines. He’s also a fan of NASCAR, baseball, tennis, books, movies and coffee shops.